Hello...
    this is my gripes page...i think i need to let some things out...so where is there a better place but on my webpage?
i choose this background for a specific reason...well...two specific reasons one is because i made it and i think it looks wicked(or for people who don't understand that "cool"), and the other is because i wanted to see if you got any ideas from it.  i mean think...when you first saw the background what did you think? did you look at it and say to yourself "hey this is evil"...or ya know what i mean...something similar.
    most likely you did...i mean...a guy w/long hair, that looks possesed or something (actually it's a picture of Eric Draven from the crow movie).  so now you're saying..."yeah...so? what's your point?".  my point is this, because this picture looks strange, dark and/or out of the ordinary people might refer to it as "evil" or "satanic".  Okay, now you're probably thinking..."this is pointless...let me leave"...but wait...i really want you to listen to me...if i wanted to wear a certain type of clothing...such as..."goth" clothing, everyone that saw me would probably think that i was a satanic freak or something... and if i wore a marilyn manson t-shirt, most people would assume that i was a devil worshipper...which in reality it would mean that i just happened to like to listen to marilyn manson's music.
    okay...this is getting harder for me to explain...but i'll go on...anyway...just because i might happen to like marilyn manson, doesn't mean that i am a devil worshipper...why do people assume that?  i know that most of his songs are refering to satan...and stuff like that...but just because i like the music background...and most of the lyrics, doesn't mean that i'm into satan or anything!
    i think that this all comes from the problem that people struggle to put others into a catagory, and if you do/wear/listen to/speak something that fits into a "group" then you must belong to it automatically.  i HATE that.  i mean...why can't you just be you, one person, an original? i'm not knocking all groups...i mean i know that if you definately want to be known as a specific person, then sure...the group thing is for you...obviously if you say "i only listen to country music, i hate all other types" and you consistantly wear wranglers and cowboy boots then you most likely want to be put in the "kicker" group.  or, if you wear the gang stuff (i don't know much about this...i'm from a really small town) then you positively want to be associated with that gang, because if you wore blue or something...and your "colors" are red...then...you could get killed!
    i don't see though...why people want to be in catagories...is it because they feel that they must "belong" or "fit in"?  i have a classic example...there's this girl at my school and all she would ever wear was...baggy jeans...and west side east side t-shirts...stuff like that...she only hung out w/that "type" of people, she only listened to rap (etc...) and she even had the "lingo" going.  then...her parents found out that she was starting to date black guys (she was white) so they went to the store bought her a whole new wardrobe (this time it was wranglers and boots) and *poof* automatically she was a "kicker"!  her whole attitude changed...now she has the country accent going on ...she goes to rodeos, she only dates "kickers", and she completely dislikes the group that she used to belong to (because...they aren't supposed to like each other). this really bothered me...because...it showed how "flighty" she is...it showed that she wasn't really the type of person that she seemed to be at first...it was all an act...she was just trying to be put into that "group".
i am starting to be put in the "satanic" group.  This really bothers me...because...why do i have to be put into a group at all?  just because of my taste in music, and maybe some of my ideas, i'm being put into a group...why can't i just be known as another person, with different oppinions...and i don't like the "teenager" label either.  i don't like the age thing at all.  some people are just simply different from others.  there may be a 20year old that's been sheltered all of her life, by that i mean that nothing bad has ever happened to her...and she could have the "maturity" of a "teenager" ...but hey...what exactly IS the maturity of a teenager? i might be different from others... you might understand things that i don't, because maybe you're more "mature" than me.  but maybe i understand more than you...maybe i think more deeply...does that make me more mature? a teenager might be able to handle something that a 20 year old couldn't ...they may understand something better...or could deal w/the everyday life problems better than the 20 year old could, but automatically because they haven't lived for 20 years yet...they aren't as mature, and they aren't given as many opportunities,  they "can't handle as much"..."age makes you wiser" i don't think this is true...i think that experiences are what make you wiser...and if you haven't had many traumatic experiences...or "life changing" experiences...then you won't understand as much as the person that has been through more.
    another thing i don't like are the "democratic" and "republican" partys, okay...in the old times...if you were registered as democratic...then by GOD!! you MUST vote democratic!...even if you didn't like who was running for office...that was your group and you MUST be loyal!...why? why must you be loyal? why can't you have your own oppinions? why can't you be free to make a choice without being put into a group?
    all of this comes down to the fact that people lack creativity.  they don't like it, anything out of the ordinary today is shunned, it's looked down upon, and most of it is considered "evil".  even parents that say "you don't have to be like everybody else" really do want you to be...they don't want you to do something that isn't normal, because then...you wouldn't be "normal" in their standards...and usually their opinions are always the normal thing. not yours...theirs. people don't say what they think either...they're affraid that people around them would reject them (and most would) because they're opinions aren't the same...and hey..."nobody wants to be rejected" you wouldn't be popular anymore...there are certain things that anyone could do that would boost their popularity...anyone can be popular!  i could tell you right now the keys to popularity...

• 1)always wear the perfect outfit, (it's a plus if your bras and panties match),
• 2)every now and then, you must be the first to discover a trend, you must be the first to see the newest and coolest hairstyle, and be the first to go and get it (even if you don't really like it), a good label for you would be "trendy",
• 3)don't always say your true oppinions, hold back and agree w/what everyone else is saying, but if you have a idea that is similar to what the people around you are saying, then say it, they might really like it and then you would be "cool",
• 4)be sure to brag about what happened to you on your last visit to the mall, everytime that a guy looked your way, be sure to mention that...but DO remember to exaggerate the facts a little, if he looked at you, make it a wink, if he smiled, then he really told you to come over and talk to him,
• 5)you MUST be involved in many activities at school!  be sure to run track, and play football, and make sure that the teachers like you so you can be a member of the academic programs, but always be sure to be the leader, make sure you're a president, vice president, or hold any other office.  another good thing to do would be to run for student council office,
• 6)never be shy...always be outgoing, talk to everyone, even if you don't want to...you must be known!
• 7)don't cry (or express any other deep emotion) in front of people unless you're sure that it will only make them feel sorry for you, to pity you this way, they'll make others pity you, and hey!...you've got a whole group of people talking about you (ups how many people know you)
• 8)always identify with everyone in your school, make sure that they all think that you're just like them, even if you aren't, take up the oppinions of the people that you're with at the moment (even though you may have just contradicted yourself the day before).
• 9)and if someone has discovered something before you did, that may make people like them more, or identify with them, be sure that you get the idea out first, be the first to use it,
• 10)if you're a girl, be sure to wear as much makeup that is needed to make you look like a model, if you have a bad complexion, then go to the dermatologist, you must have clear skin, so you can be considered "attractive",
• 11)this is the BIGGY!...don't consider anyone elses feelings, just think about yourself...i mean...don't go and make everyone hate you...or then you could lose your popularity, but, if a group of other "popular" people are talking about your closest friend, PLEASE! shut up!...don't say anything...just listen and it would be really good if you'd add a little to it, tell something deep to him that he trusted you with, even if he gets mad...it wouldn't matter, because he's just one person, you have all of these other friends that you have earned through your popularity!...you don't need him.